It can be a lonely thing to be a mom of just one child.
Not for the child -- the way that so many think.
Not for the mama at home -- you are rarely alone when you have just one as you are so often the playmate.
But amongst other mothers? Most definitely.
We live in a mom-focused society. It's never been more fashionable to have a baby on your hip, or a troupe of children walking down the street with you.
There are so many things geared and focused at moms & mom-life - and when you partake in them with "just one", so often you are looked at with the look of -- "oh...you just have...one?".
Hands up if you've heard "Don't you think he wants a brother or sister?" or "You are SO LUCKY to just have one! I don't know what I'd do with all that spare time if I only had ONE!".
It's as if you are the quiet sideshow, a "less-than", in a community of women raising many children. This person who only has to raise one child.
And of course nobody means any harm by saying these things - they never do. But the feelings still arise. Feelings of comparison, that we all struggle with as moms, are mixed in with feelings of inadequacy and feelings of guilt for not having, or maybe not wanting, more than one.
In reality, life as a mom to one is not that different from life as mom of many. Sure, our day-to-day activities are probably very different but - as far as motherhood goes -- We all worry, we all play... we all buy diapers and wipes and toys and clothes...We bandage skinned knees, we drive to soccer and ballet, we save for college...We are all moms.
So, to the mom of the only child:
You -and your child- are enough.
Your child is not spoiled. You are not "so lucky" to only have one. We are ALL lucky to have any children; whether one or five. You are...a mom. You have a child, just like all the other moms. You worry the same, you hurt the same, you play, you laugh, you care-for the same.... just like all moms.
You are a mom. And that is enough.
