Gratitude Project: Today :: Day 7

For morning light and sunrise hues

For earth and sky, the greens and blues

For every mercy made brand new

We thank You for this day

For sights and sounds and warming fires

For keeping us from wrong desires

For giving all that we require

Lord, we thank You for this day.

. . .

These are the lyrics to a song by Joy Gardner called "For This Day" - and today, that's exactly what I'm thankful for.

 In this moment, all the school work is finished, my work day has ended and we are in the quiet moments of "in between". Later I will head off to choir and then Bible study with some precious friends and as I sit here, I am so grateful, simply for what today has been. The sweet sounds of my son and my two little nephews playing in my kitchen fill my house, with Christmas music in the background and I am just enjoying...the moment, the family...everything.

So as Joy Gardner so beautifully sang; Lord, we thank You for this day.

xox,

Love from,

PS. If you are wondering...where's Day 6? You caught me! Let's just say I am thankful for the time I spent with my family instead of blogging! ;P 

to the mom of one

It can be a lonely thing to be a mom of just one child.

Not for the child -- the way that so many think.
Not for the mama at home -- you are rarely alone when you have just one as you are so often the playmate.

But amongst other mothers? Most definitely.

We live in a mom-focused society. It's never been more fashionable to have a baby on your hip, or a troupe of children walking down the street with you.
There are so many things geared and focused at moms & mom-life - and when you partake in them with "just one", so often you are looked at with the look of -- "oh...you just have...one?".

Hands up if you've heard "Don't you think he wants a brother or sister?" or "You are SO LUCKY to just have one! I don't know what I'd do with all that spare time if I only had ONE!".

It's as if you are the quiet sideshow, a "less-than", in a community of women raising many children. This person who only has to raise one child.

And of course nobody means any harm by saying these things - they never do. But the feelings still arise. Feelings of comparison, that we all struggle with as moms, are mixed in with feelings of inadequacy and feelings of guilt for not having, or maybe not wanting, more than one.

In reality, life as a mom to one is not that different from life as mom of many. Sure, our day-to-day activities are probably very different but - as far as motherhood goes -- We all worry, we all play... we all buy diapers and wipes and toys and clothes...We bandage skinned knees, we drive to soccer and ballet, we save for college...We are all moms.

So, to the mom of the only child:

You -and your child- are enough.

Your child is not spoiled. You are not "so lucky" to only have one. We are ALL lucky to have any children; whether one or five. You are...a mom. You have a child, just like all the other moms. You worry the same, you hurt the same, you play, you laugh, you care-for the same.... just like all moms.

You are a mom. And that is enough.
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What to Wear: Capsule Wardrobe

I am all about the capsule wardrobe. Having a foundation of key-pieces that you know you love? Right up my alley! Now...as for not shopping for more clothes to add to the mix? There's the hard part - shopping is truly my favourite down-time activity! All that to say, I am still really in love with the concept.

Last Spring, we went through "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up" and subsequently purged our whole house (and I mean purged!). I kept only what I knew I loved, in every aspect, but the most significant change for me, was my wardrobe.

Gone were the ripped tank tops, the $6 flip flops & that dress that I never even took the tags off of. Gone were the colours I didn't love, the too-big/too-short/too-long/too-itchy. Gone! All of it! I felt like Oprah doing a massive giveaway, when I dropped off our 60 (you read that right!) garbage bags of stuff to goodwill. "You get a car! You get a car!" ...Only this time it was: "You get an old shirt! You get an old shirt! Everyone gets an old shirt!!". It was so cleansing to know that whatever I had left, I loved.

I came home to a closet that almost had an echo. I had cleared out so many things & yet I felt like I had more choices than ever to work with! Why is that? Well, either way, there it was - a bare-feeling closet, spacious drawers & a plan to make. I sat down with a sketch book & drew up some of my favourite outfits to wear, listed the different occasions I needed them for & then started to put it all together. (If you know me, you know that the making-of-the-lists is also among my favourite activities - so this was bliss!)

I discovered that I really do like just a few variations of the same things; white dresses, cropped denim, lacey/floral/eyelet detailing & always a touch of the colour "mustard". My husband states it plainly: "you are such a hippy".  I am admittedly a bit of a flower-child at heart - I blame it on an awesome picture of my mom that I first saw when I was about 9. She was standing on a beach in Hawaii, with long hair down to her waist and a beautiful, bohemian patterned sundress. I instantly asked "do you still have that?!" and grew up always wanting to emulate my mom in that look (in so many other ways, too) - sunny, happy & feminine & free!

So, back to my closet...What did I keep? Well, since my purge, my closet looks like a lot of white, distressed denim & floral (who are we kidding, it totally looked like that before - but now there is la plan!). I live within what I like to call a very flexible capsule wardrobe.

I have always been interested in simplicity & the seemingly tireless endeavour to "simplify" life - so this really works for me.  Do I still shop? Uh...yeah! (Within reason!) But now, I live by the "one-in, one-out" rule - and try to be faithful to donate one piece when I bring in a new one. And that's why mine is a "flexible" capsule wardrobe, because if I see a piece that I just love & feel I can't rotate something out for it, I have the flexibility to grow my capsule by 1 item.

Picture above👆🏽, is a representation of my capsule wardrobe; the 16 pieces I rotate throughout my weeks (I would say I realistically wear each of these pieces once in a 2-week span). I have always been an outfit repeater - wearing the new dress I bought 3-days in a row out of sheer excitement for the piece - so this works for me. I love the simplicity of it & it makes getting dressed (slightly) quicker (I am still a woman, though - we all know what my closet floor looks like after a frenzied outfit-choosing!).

What do you think? Could you slim your closet down to your fave 16 pieces?

Here's to the simple life!

XO,
Love from, Valerie

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Thoughts: This Path We're On...

January 26, 2017. 1:00am.
Those first steps out of the hospital doors that night felt so much like the day we first took him home as a new babe. We were standing in the same place, eyes wide with excitement; with this precious life to care for. We felt the incredible weight of responsibility paired with this new depth of a love we had never known before. The only difference between this night, and that day in 2009, is that this time, instead of excitement, we were wide eyed with an overwhelm of information & unsettling fear that I truly thought would never leave me.

That night at the hospital was filled with testing, waiting, wondering, listening, comprehending...a few tears...and one shot of insulin that would become the first of hundreds to come. (He will have had over 1,200 injections by Christmas).

Once we got home, we put him to bed and then...we cried. Well, I cried. My husband held my hand, lay beside me, hugged me and held back the tears that I know he wanted to let out, too. We cried, we watched, and I laid awake, checking every few minutes for a sweaty brow or a shaky body... it was more than I thought I could ever learn to handle.

The following morning, we began what would be our new routine: finger prick - test sugars - count carbs - injection - eat (repeat...and repeat and repeat). I will never forget that first injection I gave him: shaky hands, nauseous stomach, trying to hide tears from my little one as I lifted his shirt & poked his skin. It felt wrong. I knew the insulin would help, and this was all for good, but I felt so wrong - inflicting the (albeit, small amount of) pain that my child was cringing over. Giving him a needle. Mums are supposed to be the hand-holders in those moments, not the needle-givers.

I was grieving so many small things that week. So many comforts that I had become used to - so many eases of every day.  As I said before, I thought, "surely I will never be able to handle all this".

> > > Fast Forward > > >

April 1, 2017. 10:22pm.
I sit here, beside my husband, both of us finishing up some writing on our computers. Our little one is sleeping in his bed - and all is...normal.

Normal...whew.

I did wonder if we would ever feel normal again; I honestly wondered if I'd ever even breath again. I couldn't imagine being anything but worried in the future (In my irrational worrisome nature, I even gave thought to rearranging my schedule so that I could sit in the car outside of all his lessons & playdates...).

They say hindsight is 20/20 - (they say a lot of things, don't they...) but, what is foresight? Because mine was just so off. I could never have pictured us here, back to feeling like "us". Not worried about every little moment. Making it through the highs & low's (and I'm not talking figuratively this time!) and being...okay. I pictured a struggle for every injection, a scared child, a whole new menu of foods, endless doctor's appointments. When I looked 2017 in the face, I saw worry & overwhelm clouding every corner. I just couldn't have imagined...peace.

And yet, it always shows up. (Why do we always wonder?)

Peace.

I really couldn't have imagined it. Me? A worrier in the truest sense of the word, experiencing peace - through this? ...I could never have imagined it.

...but, then, as always...entering quietly in the depths of my heart...Jesus. The One who can grant peace where peace seems impossible. The One who can calm a raging sea. Jesus came & covered me with peace when I thought that any chance of it was gone...

"He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we could ask or think!" -Ephesians 3:20

I know it won't always be a peaceful path that we walk and changes will surface over the course of the year and years to come, but, diabetes was not nearly the worst news we could have received from the doctor that night. So many parents have experienced so much worse. So many long to be parents, so many wish they still had their child with them to even worry about... No question, Diabetes or not...we are blessed. As my sweet Irish grandpa said every day "No complaints, whatsoever".

So, no complaints - not even one.

Here we are, 2 months later, feeling, both, back to our normal selves - and yet completely anew...and I have to say I like it. I can feel God's peace in my heart in a new way than ever before - and it all came through this trial.

I love the line in the song "Through It All" that goes "I thank Him for my mountains & I thank Him for my valleys, I thank Him for the storms He brought me through - 'cause if I never had a problem, I wouldn't know that God could solve them...I wouldn't know what faith in God could do."

Such a perfect line that sums it all right up. I have seen yet another beautiful side of my Jesus, through this - and I hold Him even closer to my heart now.

Watching God work is amazing. To watch your heart go from broken pieces to a beautiful mosaic of trust & peace, is the most beautiful thing you can imagine, and, if this is what our trials can bring us to, it might just be worth it.

XO,
Love from Valerie

Ideas: 14 Random Acts of Kindness to Carry Out This Valentine's Day (Kid-Friendly!)

I love Valentine's Day! Actually - I love all holidays (I'm already looking forward to our Earth Day crafts!). There's usually not much going on at our house for V-day, but, I am all about the love - so we often try to think of other fun ways to celebrate. Growing up, my mom always encouraged us to do random acts of kindness. Fun story, she once initiated a "Kindness Club" in my class to try & unite the catty girls in 3rd grade. Go mama, I think I would have done the same thing!

Valentine's Day can be super fun & romantic (we got engaged on Valentine's Day, 10 years ago!), but it can also be a little lonely and even disappointing. If you are expecting flowers & candy and all you get is dishes & laundry (can I get a witness?!)...maybe it's time to cheer someone else up. They say that making someone smile is the best medicine, anyway! So, gather a few supplies this weekend, hop in the car on Feb.14th & try out some of these suggestions!

Here are 14 Random Acts of Kindness to Try This Valentine's Day...

1. Vending Machine Love. Put $2 inside a Ziplock Bag & tape it to a vending machine at the mall or the movie theatre. You know you will make the day of someone who is digging through their pockets for that spare change. (For extra love? Attach a note saying "Enjoy your treatie, sweetie!")
2. Cookie Love. Bake a batch of cookies the night before, wrap a few of them up all pretty with wax paper & baker's twine and drop the sweet packages on the door steps of your neighbours on Valentine's morning. Who wouldn't want to wake up to COOKIES with their morning paper! (*Extra Love? Attach a note saying, "Have a LOVEly day, neighbour!")
3. Drive-Thru Love. By now I think we've all heard of the Drive-Thru Difference - why not extend that hand this Valentine's Day? Offer to pay for the car behind you in your morning coffee run. If you're short on cash, order a $5 gift card and ask the cashier to give it to the car behind you to help with their order! (*Extra Love? To make it more fun for the kiddos, drive up an extra 2 feet, roll down the back window & let them place the order!)
4. Letter Love. Is anything sweeter than a hand-written letter? Why not write a letter to someone you appreciate (a friend, a grandparent, a teacher...), or to someone you know may be down & out this V-day? Whether it's you who writes from the heart, or y'all break out the crayons & let the littles have at it - who wouldn't want to receive some handwritten love Valentine's Day? (*Extra Love? Add some candy, of course!)
5. First-Responder Love. Stop by Starbucks for some short hot chocolates (they are the cutest things!) & drop them off at your local Police Station or Firehouse. These men & women are such hard workers and their days can always use a little more love! (And honestly, what mama wouldn't mind a visit with a Fireman on Valentine's Day! ;) (*Extra Love? <--- See previous sentence!)
6. Feathered Friends Love. Get out your birdseed, friends! Whether you buy a new birdhouse, fill up your hummingbird feeder, put out some suet, or make one of these little DIY bird-feeders - you know the birdies will thank you, this Valentine's Day, for the love! (*Extra Love? Have some friends over & make it a bird-brained Valentine's craft party!)
7. Library Love. If you're like me, you always have at least a few dollars in late fees at the local library (what is with that?!). Why not pop in on February 14th & leave $10 with the librarian for that next mama who comes in? Let your kids lead in handing over the money, and then ask the librarian to please use it to pay off the next person who comes in with late fees. It will be sure to make someone's day a little brighter. (*Extra Love? Bring in a chocolate lollipop for the librarian, as well!)
8. Hospital Love. Thankfully, we haven't spent a full overnight in the hospital, but we can relate to the uncertainty & loneliness that your little one feels in a hospital room. If you have a healthy child this Valentine's, why not write up a batch of Valentine's cards & drop them off at the Paediatric Ward of your local hospital? (*For extra love - stop by the dollar store & pick up some stuffed animals for extra cuddles on love day!)
9. Parks & Rec Love. Love your local park? Grab some rubber gloves & trash bags and give a gift to your neighbourhood by cleaning up the park! Pick up the trash, clean the gravel off of the slide, while you're at it - give the parking lot a little sweep! (*Extra Love? Bring along friends & play at the park when you're done! Just don't leave your garbage behind!)
10. Babysitting Love. Call a friend (or just drop by) & offer to babysit her littles while she goes out to celebrate a few hours on Valentine's. Whether she has a hubby to bring along or will just enjoy a coffee in peace - she will be sure to come back home feeling loved. (*Extra Love? Bring her flowers, too!)
11. Telephone Love. In a world where EVERYTHING is typed and hardly anything is actually spoken, how nice would it be to receive a phone call "just because"? Pick up the phone this Valentine's and make a few phone calls, just to tell the people you love, that you love them! (*Extra Love? Arrange a coffee visit, while you're at it! The true "Face Time"!)
12. Mama Love. Leave a little post-it note on the *clean* side of a change-table in the public family bathroom that says "You're a great mom. (Yeah, you!)" (*Extra Love? Attach a $5 Starbucks card to make it that much sweeter)
13. Shopping Cart Love. Hang out in the parking lot of your local grocery store for 15 minutes after your shop & go gather all the loose carts spread throughout the lot. Your kids will love racing the carts to the "finish line"! (*Extra Love? Leave a little treat on the handle bars of one of the carts for the next shopper to enjoy!)
14. Puppy Love. Love your furry friends? Stop by your local SPCA & ask if they need help walking dogs. If it's not 'dog walking time' when you arrive, you know there is an animal there in need of a good cuddle. Settle in for a spell and get ready to be licked! (*Extra Love? Take one home!!!)

Hopefully you can go out & try some (or all) of these ideas this Valentines Day & spread the love! And - don't forget to take your little one out for a random act of kindness of their own! (Ice Cream date anyone?!).

XOXO,

Love From,

Valerie

Motivation Monday: What Makes You, You?

It's officially Christmas here. 

Okay, so, not the magical kind of Christmas with lights & Mr.Claus - but you get it, it's cold! (Like: "my-family-is-currently-wrapped-up-in-our-matching-Christmas-jammies" cold!) I shouldn't be so surprised - and yet I am! I was just sort of settling into the bare-foot mode that an island-girl can start looking forward to a month or two after Christmas. (Come April & I'm basically wearing sundresses 24/7.) Oh well, God had another plan for this week - maybe he wanted us to slow down (or just play together in the snow!). I've heard it said that "man makes plans & God laughs". I think there's some truth to that. So, for now, I have busted out my favourite black Hunter boots & am embracing life at the North Pole!

Our week has brightened up so much since last week. Seriously. The power of prayer & God's timing have been just amazing. I've really seen the Lord work in some amazing ways this week and feel more in tune with Him these days. Another reason to be thankful. 

I spent a lot of time being quiet this week. Thinking (over-thinking), processing (over-processing...like cheap deli meat...). I felt a little like a zombie...just, aimlessly sort of...going through my days. In the midst of one of my "I can't do this, this is way too much" moments last week, my husband (who has been just a champion for our family in managing this diabetes diagnosis this week, as he also has Type 1 Diabetes) suggested that I don't let Diabetes take over my mind. He said: "Deal with it when it needs to be dealt with, and only then. Give the shots, test the blood, feed him, watch him as needed. Be the attentive mother you already were and then go on with being YOU. Paint, sing, make music, write, laugh, watch a thousand episodes of The Office...(you think I'm exaggerating!) but --  just keep being Valerie. Then this thing doesn't win."

You know...sometimes my hubby thinks I don't listen to him (and, admittedly, I don't always show it well) but, baby, you don't know how many times I've come back to those words of yours, this week. 

Those words (and, foremost, the grace of God) have gotten me through this week. I've prayed a lot, read my Bible more, done a little painting, crafting, composing, writing...done a LOT of singing (some things never change) - and just, have been being...Valerie. 

It certainly got me thinking about what I really love, and who I really am. Those things are good to cling to & I'd be interested to know - what do you think makes you, you?

I'm going to go do some of it, right now!

XOXO,

Love from, 

Valerie

Thoughts: Last Week.

Snow day today! It was boots & coats all over again for us today. Although I was getting used to the no-socks/ankle-length jeans/just-a-cardigan weather, I don't mind jumping back in winter's direction for a day or two (just a day or two, though, please!). A snowy day inside, after all, seems like a good time to write.

Let's start with last Wednesday:

Lasssst Wednesday.

Last Wednesday night, we found out that my 7-year-old son has Type 1 Diabetes.

I keep rewriting that sentence, trying to find the right way to say it, but there's not really a great or well-worded way to say that.

Ugh. Diabetes.
I did not see it coming.
Until I did.

Any diagnosis for a child is torture on a mother. The shock, the fear, the sadness, the what-if's  -  last week was an over-bubbling pot of emotions and questions. I would call myself a 'strong' person, but when it comes to my little one, who are we kidding - (I even cried when he was put under for dental surgery in the Fall) - so, last week I was a little bit of a mess. Thank goodness that God created community. If it weren't for my family I could never have made it through this week.

My son has taken this like a champ, and even today said "mom, I don't even care that I have diabetes!". That is music to the ears of a mama who was picturing my child's heart breaking along with mine, and mourning the loss of his carefree stage. And yet, children are resilient & he is still care-free as ever. The Lord has been stronger than all of this. Little guy is just as goofy & bonkers as ever, and the insulin now in his system is making the world of difference to his little body. We are so thankful for such a wonderful health care team.

So, our life is completely different and new, and yet, as I was telling a friend this week, eerily the same. It's as if everything has changed and nothing has, all at once.

As a mom, it is surreal. My child has diabetes. My child has a disease that he will never not have. My child has had over 35 needles since last Wednesday with no end in sight. My child -- and then I breathe... I breathe & remember, we are not promised a perfect life. We are not promised ease through every moment; but we are promised God's help, God's hand, God's love, friendship, support, wisdom, guidance, protection, supernatural power... (another breath...). We have SO much more to be thankful for, than we do to grieve over in our family - and for that I am just thankful.

I am thankful it was nothing worse. I am thankful that he can live with diabetes. I am thankful that we can manage it from home and still maintain our lives. I am thankful we still have our precious child. While the little things can quickly overwhelm me - If I look at the big picture, I can just say that I am thankful.

Am I Sad? Overwhelmed? Emotional at times? Oh ya. But  -  thankful - and that is all I can ask for right now. Those other feelings will pass & change & this will settle in. But His love endures forever and will never change. THAT is what I am holding onto.

So, for those of you that were wondering - that is what we are up to in this family. (I'm pretty sure if I made an outfit post about last week it would look like a Groundhog Day-inspired repeat cycle of jeans/tank top/jacket, jeans/tank top/jacket, jeans/tank top/jacket...).

There have been moments this week when counting, balancing, injecting, processing, thinking, driving, crying...have been too much for me - so, this blog will just be something else to focus on & I thank you for stopping by!

Bye for now :)
XO,
Love from Valerie

*(Note: A combination of bedwetting, extreme thirst, dry mouth & weight loss were all symptoms that led us to visit the paediatrician for testing; more on his diagnosis story another time.)
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What To Wear: Floral Thursday

Sometimes you just need a little floral in your life - right? I know I do. I love this outfit because it is SO easy to wear. (The actual dress I'm wearing is from UMGEE USA). As I mentioned in my last post, as a mom, and especially these days, I need my clothing & life to be flexible & movable - and yet, still look cute! This one fits the bill & I wear it way too often! Throw on the dress, leggings & boots in 2 minutes and you're good to go. 

A win this Thursday as I head off to art class with my son & some reading (ie. sleeping) in the car for me & my husband while we wait for him!

Have a great day!

XO, Love from, 

Valerie

What to Wear: Busy Mama Life

A cozy outfit for a busy day/week - It's tempting to try & hide it - but let's be real, I have totally worn this outfit 3x this week, and it's only Thursday. (You do the math!). 

Life has been CRAZY lately (more on that another day) and as I dig through our massive pile of unfolded laundry, I find myself looking for those pieces that are cozy & relaxing, and yet still make me feel put together (which feels, sort of like, my superpower these days). There is nothing like a giant sweater to tie an otherwise plain outfit together. I'm also kind of in love with olive green right now - I'm not sure if it's a trend, if it's because I have a thing for olive branches, or if I just plain like the colour, but I'm finding it a great, simple pop of colour to bring some life to a monochrome outfit.

Anyways, enough about that for now - thanks for stopping by this little place. As I said, life got about 1,000x crazier for my family, this week, and I'm resting on the grace of God to climb this next mountain. I'm loving the peace that is already flowing through my soul (Phil.4:7). I will update you all in the coming days - but for now, enjoy some of what I enjoy (& some of what keeps me distracted in those crazy moments) - pretty clothes, encouraging words from God, beautiful music & just some good old talks.

xoxo, Bye for now,

Love from Valerie