Thoughts: Last Week.

Snow day today! It was boots & coats all over again for us today. Although I was getting used to the no-socks/ankle-length jeans/just-a-cardigan weather, I don't mind jumping back in winter's direction for a day or two (just a day or two, though, please!). A snowy day inside, after all, seems like a good time to write.

Let's start with last Wednesday:

Lasssst Wednesday.

Last Wednesday night, we found out that my 7-year-old son has Type 1 Diabetes.

I keep rewriting that sentence, trying to find the right way to say it, but there's not really a great or well-worded way to say that.

Ugh. Diabetes.
I did not see it coming.
Until I did.

Any diagnosis for a child is torture on a mother. The shock, the fear, the sadness, the what-if's  -  last week was an over-bubbling pot of emotions and questions. I would call myself a 'strong' person, but when it comes to my little one, who are we kidding - (I even cried when he was put under for dental surgery in the Fall) - so, last week I was a little bit of a mess. Thank goodness that God created community. If it weren't for my family I could never have made it through this week.

My son has taken this like a champ, and even today said "mom, I don't even care that I have diabetes!". That is music to the ears of a mama who was picturing my child's heart breaking along with mine, and mourning the loss of his carefree stage. And yet, children are resilient & he is still care-free as ever. The Lord has been stronger than all of this. Little guy is just as goofy & bonkers as ever, and the insulin now in his system is making the world of difference to his little body. We are so thankful for such a wonderful health care team.

So, our life is completely different and new, and yet, as I was telling a friend this week, eerily the same. It's as if everything has changed and nothing has, all at once.

As a mom, it is surreal. My child has diabetes. My child has a disease that he will never not have. My child has had over 35 needles since last Wednesday with no end in sight. My child -- and then I breathe... I breathe & remember, we are not promised a perfect life. We are not promised ease through every moment; but we are promised God's help, God's hand, God's love, friendship, support, wisdom, guidance, protection, supernatural power... (another breath...). We have SO much more to be thankful for, than we do to grieve over in our family - and for that I am just thankful.

I am thankful it was nothing worse. I am thankful that he can live with diabetes. I am thankful that we can manage it from home and still maintain our lives. I am thankful we still have our precious child. While the little things can quickly overwhelm me - If I look at the big picture, I can just say that I am thankful.

Am I Sad? Overwhelmed? Emotional at times? Oh ya. But  -  thankful - and that is all I can ask for right now. Those other feelings will pass & change & this will settle in. But His love endures forever and will never change. THAT is what I am holding onto.

So, for those of you that were wondering - that is what we are up to in this family. (I'm pretty sure if I made an outfit post about last week it would look like a Groundhog Day-inspired repeat cycle of jeans/tank top/jacket, jeans/tank top/jacket, jeans/tank top/jacket...).

There have been moments this week when counting, balancing, injecting, processing, thinking, driving, crying...have been too much for me - so, this blog will just be something else to focus on & I thank you for stopping by!

Bye for now :)
XO,
Love from Valerie

*(Note: A combination of bedwetting, extreme thirst, dry mouth & weight loss were all symptoms that led us to visit the paediatrician for testing; more on his diagnosis story another time.)
SaveSave