Gratitude Project: My Parents and a Day of Rest :: Day 3 and 4

Happy Sunday, friends!

Since it's the weekend, I thought I'd combine day 3 and 4 in one post.

Day 3

On this day of my gratitude project, I am thankful for: my parents!

What's not to say about these two?

Not everyone makes it to adulthood with 2 good strong, supportive and loving parents - but we did, and I am so grateful. 

This weekend I had a blast with my parents, shopping a big sale at Old Navy. We spent way too much time sifting through jean sizes and sweaters and line ups and change-rooms and the mess that is a large store with a 50% off sale on a Saturday -- and we laughed through it all. Mel was patient with my mom and I as we passed him shirt after shirt to try on and my mom was adventurous in trying anything new I suggested to her -- thus indulging my deep love of shopping (another gratitude post, I'm sure!).  On the drive home, I was struck by the fact that we found such joy in such a simple time.

As individuals, my parents are both committed to Jesus, family and each other - and as parents, they are committed to loving my brother, me and everyone we have brought into the fold throughout the years - from friends to spouses to new babies. 

They love fiercely and they listen to God even more-so. They are selfless, strong, wise and fun and I am thankful to call them mine!

Here's to good family!

Day 4

And for this day, this lovely sunny November day...I am thankful for Sundays; a day of rest. I am thankful for days off, and quiet hours. 

When I got home from church today, I read a little bit, sent a few emails and then found my way to my bed, while my husband and son were out on an adventure and just had a quiet, still afternoon. In God's infinite wisdom, He, too, rested after a week of work - an example I'm thankful for, as it's not always easy for me to slow things down, relax and unwind.

So, rest and family. Two good things to be grateful for. 

I go to bed this Sunday feeling blessed, thankful and ready for a new week!

What are you grateful for this weekend?

xoxo,

Love from,

Gratitude Project: These 32 Years... 🎉 :: Day 2

A few days ago I turned 32.

(A few moments to let that sink in...)

32 years have been good to me, I must say. I joke about feeling old and have plenty (PLENTY) of grey hairs to show for these years, but really, today on this 2nd day of my gratitude project, I have to give a shout out to these 32 years as something I'm very thankful for. 

I remember having to do a project back in school, where we had to imagine ourselves 20 years in the future. I remember drawing a tall (I wish!) brown skinned woman with short curly hair, holding a big purse (nailed that one!) and then...not knowing what to draw from there... 

A husband? ...Would I be married? Kids? ...Would I have the 1 girl and 1 boy I'd always imagined? A job? Where to begin! ...Singer? Artist? Mom? Florist? (Among other dreams!). -- In the end, I think I settled on drawing myself with a cat and a car...two things I was fairly certain I could attain in twenty years. 

There were so many things stored up in my heart, so many dreams for "the future", many that I thought were too big to even put on paper; but here, at 32 years old, I am in awe of what God has orchestrated in my life, to allow so many of these dreams to come true.

From silly 'bucket list' items: like learning how to knit a proper toque, memorizing a recipe and visiting NYC...to big life items: like getting married, having a baby, recording a CD and meeting bill Gaither (eee!)...32 years have given me a whole lot to be thankful for. Chief among them, is the ever-growing knowledge of how to trust in Jesus. How to actually give Him my heart -- how to walk hand in hand with Him and allow Him to guide me, help me and love me, day in and day out. 

And you know what, the more I learn to lean on Jesus, the more I learn that I need to KEEP leaning on Him! (Say that 3x fast!). It's a lifelong, daily dependance, one that I learned about through a time of fear in my life that shook me to my core -- but this lesson feels like the best thing to have ever come out of these 32 years. A lesson that I hope to share with my son, my husband and anyone who wants to hear it. 

So, life, thank you for these years. Thank You, God, for allowing me this time to grow, to age, to learn, to love, to sing, to laugh... Thank you for all the experiences and the memories that come with these 32 years -- and thank You for the grace and mercy I know I will have for however many years will follow.

xoxo,

Love From,

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 1 🍂

November is here. . . How do we feel about that? 

As a lover of all things festive and 'holiday', it's music to my ears. This is so completely my favourite time of year. Here in Canada, the beautiful month of October starts out with loved ones gathered, giving thanks together, November offers a little more rest and a time of remembrance and then December comes boldly, bringing us all that beautiful, snowy magic (or, in our case here on the West Coast...all that rainy, wet, foggy magic...but somehow it's still so good!) 

Yes, Fall is in full swing and I am loving every minute! The leaves, the pumpkins, the crisp air, the return to routine, the festive lattes at Starbucks...I could go on!

But what I'm here to tell you is that today, in honor of the first day of November (and to keep myself busy until December gets here!!) I started a journalling project: to write about gratitude for 30 days.  

The start of November feels like the perfect time to slow down, reflect and be thankful. The Christmas season is just weeks away-- a time when many of us are shopping and buying and gathering and getting, and it will be refreshing to step into that season with a heart full and brimming over with gratitude.

Now, there are so many things that I am thankful for -- definitely more than 30 -- but how often do I really stop to express that gratitude? To get specific? To really say...thank You?

I think it's important, if even just to ourselves, to really identify the goodness in our lives. So often, in adult life, we focus on the "need-to's", the "should-be's" and far too often...the "what-if's"... but what if we spent more time filling up the "things I'm thankful for..." list? Perhaps we might come out on the other side feeling filled-up, valued, grateful...wealthy, even. Perhaps we might realize we have exactly what we need, right here where we are. 

So...Day 1.

If you know me, you know it would be true my nature to start listing everything I am thankful for, right here on this little list (list-lovers, unite!) -- but I will stick to the task and list one a day.

Today I am thankful for: the changing seasons.

I say it dozens of times from September to December (I've even already said it, above) but this is just my very favourite time of year. From Fall to Christmas it sure feels to me like life just can't get any better -- but then... as December wraps up and we prepare to welcome a brand new year...full of possibility and choice and the beauty of a blank slate... my heart starts to look toward Spring with it's fresh flowers and picnics in the park.  --- The same thing happens as Summer rolls around and I dream of warmer days and campfires at the beach. And then...you turn around, and you are looking forward to Fall and Winter again...

It's almost like there is Someone out there who knows just what we need...just when we need it.

When summer starts to feel hot and we crave cooler, crisper days, there is Fall, waiting with cozy, open arms -- and the cycle continues.

And while I may be just a teensy bit more thankful for Fall and Winter than all the other seasons...(wink, wink)...I am so thankful that the Lord knows just what I need - in so many ways, and how the changing seasons reflect that so beautifully. 🍂 He has a great plan and it's knit into every little thing.

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If you want to join me on this gratitude journey, I would love to hear, each day, what you are thankful for! Let's gather up all the goodness in our lives and share it with each other this month!

Happy November, friends!

Love From,

to the mom of one

It can be a lonely thing to be a mom of just one child.

Not for the child -- the way that so many think.
Not for the mama at home -- you are rarely alone when you have just one as you are so often the playmate.

But amongst other mothers? Most definitely.

We live in a mom-focused society. It's never been more fashionable to have a baby on your hip, or a troupe of children walking down the street with you.
There are so many things geared and focused at moms & mom-life - and when you partake in them with "just one", so often you are looked at with the look of -- "oh...you just have...one?".

Hands up if you've heard "Don't you think he wants a brother or sister?" or "You are SO LUCKY to just have one! I don't know what I'd do with all that spare time if I only had ONE!".

It's as if you are the quiet sideshow, a "less-than", in a community of women raising many children. This person who only has to raise one child.

And of course nobody means any harm by saying these things - they never do. But the feelings still arise. Feelings of comparison, that we all struggle with as moms, are mixed in with feelings of inadequacy and feelings of guilt for not having, or maybe not wanting, more than one.

In reality, life as a mom to one is not that different from life as mom of many. Sure, our day-to-day activities are probably very different but - as far as motherhood goes -- We all worry, we all play... we all buy diapers and wipes and toys and clothes...We bandage skinned knees, we drive to soccer and ballet, we save for college...We are all moms.

So, to the mom of the only child:

You -and your child- are enough.

Your child is not spoiled. You are not "so lucky" to only have one. We are ALL lucky to have any children; whether one or five. You are...a mom. You have a child, just like all the other moms. You worry the same, you hurt the same, you play, you laugh, you care-for the same.... just like all moms.

You are a mom. And that is enough.
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Thoughts: Looking Back, Looking Forward

Hey there, friends! It's been a while here on this little blog, I know! Life moves and twists and little feel-good things that we do just for us, like a blog, get left behind -- and yet I don't have the heart to stop writing so, here I am. 

Last I left you, our son, aged 7, had just been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and we were...surviving, for sure, but knee deep in new information, at daily doctor visits and slightly overwhelmed with learning this whole new lifestyle -- and all the while, grieving a little bit for the chunk of childhood our son was losing.  

I think having a child with a health problem (big or small) is a whirlwind that can easily sweep up your free time, your spare thoughts and a fair chunk of your happiness at times. It feels as if this past year flew by me like a car speeding past in the next lane - one you don't even feel like you ever knew was behind you and then, bam!-- is out of sight. 

I can be thankful, though (so thankful, really!). Last year taught me, as cliche as it sounds, to just focus on the moment we were in, and that has been a gift. I learned not wonder or fear about the future - what Jake's life would be like as a 25 year old diabetic, or if his children will have the disease or --- (remember...breath!) or even to worry about the next day. Having such a huge amount of control taken out of my hands was, honestly, just what I needed. It reminded me of the things I've known for years, but have just let lay dormant in my mind -- truths like, God is in control. (Did you hear that? GOD is in control! Not us!). When something uncontrollable happens to your child (again, whether big or small) - the only option is to hand it over to the Lord because, guess what, mama? He can carry it! It's not too big, it's not too out-of-control, it's not too messy or scary or hard for Him. 

Nothing is.

This year,  I had to shift my focus in so many ways and that was a blessing. From this year of re-focus and letting go has come so many beautiful things -- richer friendships, a healthy child and even new music! (<-- check it out here!)

This year has been a beautiful reminder to just get out there and live! Write the songs, call your friend, try the new recipe, go on a date with your spouse -- just focus on what you can do today and let God carry the rest. (Think of Him as a wonderful friend in Highschool who will walk around beside you and carry all the books you don't need right at that moment! How nice would that have been??)

>>>

So friends, fast forward almost 1 year in our family (how has it been that long?!) and we are doing great. Our son is gaining independence daily and it is incredible to watch him manage his own health at such a young age. I don't know many 8 year olds who casually give themselves 4 needles a day! I could barely handle 1 booster every few years! His bravery is one of my favourite things in this world. It is an honour to be his mom.

I am happy to see this new year come and excited for what it will bring. And as for this little blog? I hope to keep it up as a place to be creative, to write about frivolous things like clothes and important things like faith and as a place to connect with you all! (But hey, it is January -- National "start-new-things-that-you'll-forget-by-March" month, soooo, you never know what the year will bring!).

For now, friends, I hope you all have a lovely start to January!

Love from,

Valerie

xo

What to Wear: Capsule Wardrobe

I am all about the capsule wardrobe. Having a foundation of key-pieces that you know you love? Right up my alley! Now...as for not shopping for more clothes to add to the mix? There's the hard part - shopping is truly my favourite down-time activity! All that to say, I am still really in love with the concept.

Last Spring, we went through "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up" and subsequently purged our whole house (and I mean purged!). I kept only what I knew I loved, in every aspect, but the most significant change for me, was my wardrobe.

Gone were the ripped tank tops, the $6 flip flops & that dress that I never even took the tags off of. Gone were the colours I didn't love, the too-big/too-short/too-long/too-itchy. Gone! All of it! I felt like Oprah doing a massive giveaway, when I dropped off our 60 (you read that right!) garbage bags of stuff to goodwill. "You get a car! You get a car!" ...Only this time it was: "You get an old shirt! You get an old shirt! Everyone gets an old shirt!!". It was so cleansing to know that whatever I had left, I loved.

I came home to a closet that almost had an echo. I had cleared out so many things & yet I felt like I had more choices than ever to work with! Why is that? Well, either way, there it was - a bare-feeling closet, spacious drawers & a plan to make. I sat down with a sketch book & drew up some of my favourite outfits to wear, listed the different occasions I needed them for & then started to put it all together. (If you know me, you know that the making-of-the-lists is also among my favourite activities - so this was bliss!)

I discovered that I really do like just a few variations of the same things; white dresses, cropped denim, lacey/floral/eyelet detailing & always a touch of the colour "mustard". My husband states it plainly: "you are such a hippy".  I am admittedly a bit of a flower-child at heart - I blame it on an awesome picture of my mom that I first saw when I was about 9. She was standing on a beach in Hawaii, with long hair down to her waist and a beautiful, bohemian patterned sundress. I instantly asked "do you still have that?!" and grew up always wanting to emulate my mom in that look (in so many other ways, too) - sunny, happy & feminine & free!

So, back to my closet...What did I keep? Well, since my purge, my closet looks like a lot of white, distressed denim & floral (who are we kidding, it totally looked like that before - but now there is la plan!). I live within what I like to call a very flexible capsule wardrobe.

I have always been interested in simplicity & the seemingly tireless endeavour to "simplify" life - so this really works for me.  Do I still shop? Uh...yeah! (Within reason!) But now, I live by the "one-in, one-out" rule - and try to be faithful to donate one piece when I bring in a new one. And that's why mine is a "flexible" capsule wardrobe, because if I see a piece that I just love & feel I can't rotate something out for it, I have the flexibility to grow my capsule by 1 item.

Picture above👆🏽, is a representation of my capsule wardrobe; the 16 pieces I rotate throughout my weeks (I would say I realistically wear each of these pieces once in a 2-week span). I have always been an outfit repeater - wearing the new dress I bought 3-days in a row out of sheer excitement for the piece - so this works for me. I love the simplicity of it & it makes getting dressed (slightly) quicker (I am still a woman, though - we all know what my closet floor looks like after a frenzied outfit-choosing!).

What do you think? Could you slim your closet down to your fave 16 pieces?

Here's to the simple life!

XO,
Love from, Valerie

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Thoughts: This Path We're On...

January 26, 2017. 1:00am.
Those first steps out of the hospital doors that night felt so much like the day we first took him home as a new babe. We were standing in the same place, eyes wide with excitement; with this precious life to care for. We felt the incredible weight of responsibility paired with this new depth of a love we had never known before. The only difference between this night, and that day in 2009, is that this time, instead of excitement, we were wide eyed with an overwhelm of information & unsettling fear that I truly thought would never leave me.

That night at the hospital was filled with testing, waiting, wondering, listening, comprehending...a few tears...and one shot of insulin that would become the first of hundreds to come. (He will have had over 1,200 injections by Christmas).

Once we got home, we put him to bed and then...we cried. Well, I cried. My husband held my hand, lay beside me, hugged me and held back the tears that I know he wanted to let out, too. We cried, we watched, and I laid awake, checking every few minutes for a sweaty brow or a shaky body... it was more than I thought I could ever learn to handle.

The following morning, we began what would be our new routine: finger prick - test sugars - count carbs - injection - eat (repeat...and repeat and repeat). I will never forget that first injection I gave him: shaky hands, nauseous stomach, trying to hide tears from my little one as I lifted his shirt & poked his skin. It felt wrong. I knew the insulin would help, and this was all for good, but I felt so wrong - inflicting the (albeit, small amount of) pain that my child was cringing over. Giving him a needle. Mums are supposed to be the hand-holders in those moments, not the needle-givers.

I was grieving so many small things that week. So many comforts that I had become used to - so many eases of every day.  As I said before, I thought, "surely I will never be able to handle all this".

> > > Fast Forward > > >

April 1, 2017. 10:22pm.
I sit here, beside my husband, both of us finishing up some writing on our computers. Our little one is sleeping in his bed - and all is...normal.

Normal...whew.

I did wonder if we would ever feel normal again; I honestly wondered if I'd ever even breath again. I couldn't imagine being anything but worried in the future (In my irrational worrisome nature, I even gave thought to rearranging my schedule so that I could sit in the car outside of all his lessons & playdates...).

They say hindsight is 20/20 - (they say a lot of things, don't they...) but, what is foresight? Because mine was just so off. I could never have pictured us here, back to feeling like "us". Not worried about every little moment. Making it through the highs & low's (and I'm not talking figuratively this time!) and being...okay. I pictured a struggle for every injection, a scared child, a whole new menu of foods, endless doctor's appointments. When I looked 2017 in the face, I saw worry & overwhelm clouding every corner. I just couldn't have imagined...peace.

And yet, it always shows up. (Why do we always wonder?)

Peace.

I really couldn't have imagined it. Me? A worrier in the truest sense of the word, experiencing peace - through this? ...I could never have imagined it.

...but, then, as always...entering quietly in the depths of my heart...Jesus. The One who can grant peace where peace seems impossible. The One who can calm a raging sea. Jesus came & covered me with peace when I thought that any chance of it was gone...

"He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we could ask or think!" -Ephesians 3:20

I know it won't always be a peaceful path that we walk and changes will surface over the course of the year and years to come, but, diabetes was not nearly the worst news we could have received from the doctor that night. So many parents have experienced so much worse. So many long to be parents, so many wish they still had their child with them to even worry about... No question, Diabetes or not...we are blessed. As my sweet Irish grandpa said every day "No complaints, whatsoever".

So, no complaints - not even one.

Here we are, 2 months later, feeling, both, back to our normal selves - and yet completely anew...and I have to say I like it. I can feel God's peace in my heart in a new way than ever before - and it all came through this trial.

I love the line in the song "Through It All" that goes "I thank Him for my mountains & I thank Him for my valleys, I thank Him for the storms He brought me through - 'cause if I never had a problem, I wouldn't know that God could solve them...I wouldn't know what faith in God could do."

Such a perfect line that sums it all right up. I have seen yet another beautiful side of my Jesus, through this - and I hold Him even closer to my heart now.

Watching God work is amazing. To watch your heart go from broken pieces to a beautiful mosaic of trust & peace, is the most beautiful thing you can imagine, and, if this is what our trials can bring us to, it might just be worth it.

XO,
Love from Valerie