Gratitude Project: Today :: Day 7

For morning light and sunrise hues

For earth and sky, the greens and blues

For every mercy made brand new

We thank You for this day

For sights and sounds and warming fires

For keeping us from wrong desires

For giving all that we require

Lord, we thank You for this day.

. . .

These are the lyrics to a song by Joy Gardner called "For This Day" - and today, that's exactly what I'm thankful for.

 In this moment, all the school work is finished, my work day has ended and we are in the quiet moments of "in between". Later I will head off to choir and then Bible study with some precious friends and as I sit here, I am so grateful, simply for what today has been. The sweet sounds of my son and my two little nephews playing in my kitchen fill my house, with Christmas music in the background and I am just enjoying...the moment, the family...everything.

So as Joy Gardner so beautifully sang; Lord, we thank You for this day.

xox,

Love from,

PS. If you are wondering...where's Day 6? You caught me! Let's just say I am thankful for the time I spent with my family instead of blogging! ;P 

Gratitude Project: Frederick Banting and a few poorly puppies...

In a world without good Canadian doctors like Frederick Banting and his team - life for my family would be very different....scary different.

In 1921 Dr.Frederick Banting and his team of doctors and chemists, discovered a hormone called insulin by testing the pancreas's of diabetic dogs. Insulin -- a hormone that our family now spends hundreds and hundreds (and hundreds?) of dollars a year on, to support the 2 Diabetics living in my home.

My husband was diagnosed with T1D in 1989, at age twelve, in Boston, MA. His journey was not an easy one. The many changes in blood sugar testing and regulation of that time paired with living in a country that did not provide the kind of medical support we get in Canada created an expensive and tiring life for him and his family. Thanks to all the advances and moving to this beautiful place, things are completely turned around for how he manages this disease. (Another note of gratitude!)

Fast forward 28 years, and our sweet, seven-year old son started showing all the awful symptoms of Diabetes and shortly after, was also diagnosed with T1D. (A little harder to find gratitude here...)

This rocked my world, shook me to my core (and any other cliche statement that illustrates devastation...). Part of me wondered, I would venture to say that even a very small part of me knew that when we were experiencing the telling symptoms of Diabetes, that it was in fact, going to be the very thing we dreaded since we first found out we were pregnant. 

(I won't get into the fact that our OB/GYN told us 100% that this baby would not have Diabetes because it doesn't explicitly pass down from parent to child. For that reason, we doubted it being the big D from the beginning...slightly massive letdown.)

Our boy lost 11 pounds in just over a month, started wetting the bed out of no where (this from a boy who potty trained in 2 days while we were in Nashville, TN at age 2 and hadn't had an accident since), became ravenously thirsty 24 hours a day and... I could go on. He hadn't truly smiled in weeks. He was exhausted, but no one knew why. His collarbones were popping so far out of his little neck that he thought they were going to snap. 

The symptoms were confusing and scary, but gradual and almost "gentle" in a way that made it hard to realize how serious things had become.

ENTER INSULIN.

After leaving several doctors appointments, unsatisfied with answers like "growth spurt" and "bedwetter" - we finally pushed and got referred to a paediatrician, who, after hearing the symptoms, gently suggested a quick blood test that next morning.

Cut to 11 missed calls from the hospital while I worked that day and me finally answering the phone, to have our new paediatrician say "Valerie...you need to wake your son up and bring him to the hopsital NOW. His blood sugar is critical high and...I didn't want to say this over the phone...but we strongly suspect it is Diabetes".

Shock.

Tears.

Panic.

Worry.

Worry.

Worry.

A quiet whispered update to my husband, asking him to be calm for me.

And then running.

Running over to my parents house.

Slamming the door behind me.

Crying into their arms.

"They...they think...THEY THINK JAKE HAS DIABETES...I...I have to go NOW...we have to go now."

. . .

Everyone was so quiet and so reassuring that everything would be fine. Jake, although skinny as a whip, thirsty and slightly confused, was fine. He was so lifeless, now that I look back. Normally a rushed trip to the emergency room in the night, with a crying mom and every other family member that can fit in the car along with us, would worry him - but that night, the elevated blood sugar had taken so much from him that he hardly flinched at the ordeal.

I kept thinking: "I should have known".

But the grace of God and the strength of my family kept me from thinking it too often.

And then, like I said...and thanks to Frederick Banting and a few poorly pups in the 1920's...ENTER INSULIN.

Within minutes he was given insulin and the life slowly came back to him.

It was magic. 

(...Who am I kidding...it was hell on earth watching my child be injected with something so foreign)

But it was magic.

It was healing. 

It was helping.

It was WORKING.

Here are 2 photos.

The first one...I hate. Truly.

It is his perfect face but, I almost don't even see him in it.

The second...is after 1 day with insulin in his system.

Day 1

Day 2

--------

Life changing, Dr.Banting. Life changing.

I get teary when I read of the first people who were treated with insulin.

"Witnesses to the first people ever to be treated with insulin saw "one of the genuine miracles of modern medicine," says the author of a book charting its discovery.1

Starved and sometimes comatose patients with diabetes would return to life after receiving insulin.

Ultimately, the first medical success was with a boy with type 1 diabetes - 14-year-old Leonard Thompson - who was successfully treated in 1922. Close to death before treatment, Leonard bounced back to life with the insulin. "

Can you imagine his mother??

Her son, close to death, with a disease that had killed countless others, with no help in sight (or in history)...simply "bouncing back to life" with the treatment of insulin.

So, thank you, Frederick Banting. 

You saved my guys 

You saved so many others.

You took a death sentence and turned it into a manageable disease.

You pressed on in your research and changed the world.

...and this mama is ever grateful.

xoxo,

Love from,

Gratitude Project: My Parents and a Day of Rest :: Day 3 and 4

Happy Sunday, friends!

Since it's the weekend, I thought I'd combine day 3 and 4 in one post.

Day 3

On this day of my gratitude project, I am thankful for: my parents!

What's not to say about these two?

Not everyone makes it to adulthood with 2 good strong, supportive and loving parents - but we did, and I am so grateful. 

This weekend I had a blast with my parents, shopping a big sale at Old Navy. We spent way too much time sifting through jean sizes and sweaters and line ups and change-rooms and the mess that is a large store with a 50% off sale on a Saturday -- and we laughed through it all. Mel was patient with my mom and I as we passed him shirt after shirt to try on and my mom was adventurous in trying anything new I suggested to her -- thus indulging my deep love of shopping (another gratitude post, I'm sure!).  On the drive home, I was struck by the fact that we found such joy in such a simple time.

As individuals, my parents are both committed to Jesus, family and each other - and as parents, they are committed to loving my brother, me and everyone we have brought into the fold throughout the years - from friends to spouses to new babies. 

They love fiercely and they listen to God even more-so. They are selfless, strong, wise and fun and I am thankful to call them mine!

Here's to good family!

Day 4

And for this day, this lovely sunny November day...I am thankful for Sundays; a day of rest. I am thankful for days off, and quiet hours. 

When I got home from church today, I read a little bit, sent a few emails and then found my way to my bed, while my husband and son were out on an adventure and just had a quiet, still afternoon. In God's infinite wisdom, He, too, rested after a week of work - an example I'm thankful for, as it's not always easy for me to slow things down, relax and unwind.

So, rest and family. Two good things to be grateful for. 

I go to bed this Sunday feeling blessed, thankful and ready for a new week!

What are you grateful for this weekend?

xoxo,

Love from,

Gratitude Project: These 32 Years... 🎉 :: Day 2

A few days ago I turned 32.

(A few moments to let that sink in...)

32 years have been good to me, I must say. I joke about feeling old and have plenty (PLENTY) of grey hairs to show for these years, but really, today on this 2nd day of my gratitude project, I have to give a shout out to these 32 years as something I'm very thankful for. 

I remember having to do a project back in school, where we had to imagine ourselves 20 years in the future. I remember drawing a tall (I wish!) brown skinned woman with short curly hair, holding a big purse (nailed that one!) and then...not knowing what to draw from there... 

A husband? ...Would I be married? Kids? ...Would I have the 1 girl and 1 boy I'd always imagined? A job? Where to begin! ...Singer? Artist? Mom? Florist? (Among other dreams!). -- In the end, I think I settled on drawing myself with a cat and a car...two things I was fairly certain I could attain in twenty years. 

There were so many things stored up in my heart, so many dreams for "the future", many that I thought were too big to even put on paper; but here, at 32 years old, I am in awe of what God has orchestrated in my life, to allow so many of these dreams to come true.

From silly 'bucket list' items: like learning how to knit a proper toque, memorizing a recipe and visiting NYC...to big life items: like getting married, having a baby, recording a CD and meeting bill Gaither (eee!)...32 years have given me a whole lot to be thankful for. Chief among them, is the ever-growing knowledge of how to trust in Jesus. How to actually give Him my heart -- how to walk hand in hand with Him and allow Him to guide me, help me and love me, day in and day out. 

And you know what, the more I learn to lean on Jesus, the more I learn that I need to KEEP leaning on Him! (Say that 3x fast!). It's a lifelong, daily dependance, one that I learned about through a time of fear in my life that shook me to my core -- but this lesson feels like the best thing to have ever come out of these 32 years. A lesson that I hope to share with my son, my husband and anyone who wants to hear it. 

So, life, thank you for these years. Thank You, God, for allowing me this time to grow, to age, to learn, to love, to sing, to laugh... Thank you for all the experiences and the memories that come with these 32 years -- and thank You for the grace and mercy I know I will have for however many years will follow.

xoxo,

Love From,

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 1 🍂

November is here. . . How do we feel about that? 

As a lover of all things festive and 'holiday', it's music to my ears. This is so completely my favourite time of year. Here in Canada, the beautiful month of October starts out with loved ones gathered, giving thanks together, November offers a little more rest and a time of remembrance and then December comes boldly, bringing us all that beautiful, snowy magic (or, in our case here on the West Coast...all that rainy, wet, foggy magic...but somehow it's still so good!) 

Yes, Fall is in full swing and I am loving every minute! The leaves, the pumpkins, the crisp air, the return to routine, the festive lattes at Starbucks...I could go on!

But what I'm here to tell you is that today, in honor of the first day of November (and to keep myself busy until December gets here!!) I started a journalling project: to write about gratitude for 30 days.  

The start of November feels like the perfect time to slow down, reflect and be thankful. The Christmas season is just weeks away-- a time when many of us are shopping and buying and gathering and getting, and it will be refreshing to step into that season with a heart full and brimming over with gratitude.

Now, there are so many things that I am thankful for -- definitely more than 30 -- but how often do I really stop to express that gratitude? To get specific? To really say...thank You?

I think it's important, if even just to ourselves, to really identify the goodness in our lives. So often, in adult life, we focus on the "need-to's", the "should-be's" and far too often...the "what-if's"... but what if we spent more time filling up the "things I'm thankful for..." list? Perhaps we might come out on the other side feeling filled-up, valued, grateful...wealthy, even. Perhaps we might realize we have exactly what we need, right here where we are. 

So...Day 1.

If you know me, you know it would be true my nature to start listing everything I am thankful for, right here on this little list (list-lovers, unite!) -- but I will stick to the task and list one a day.

Today I am thankful for: the changing seasons.

I say it dozens of times from September to December (I've even already said it, above) but this is just my very favourite time of year. From Fall to Christmas it sure feels to me like life just can't get any better -- but then... as December wraps up and we prepare to welcome a brand new year...full of possibility and choice and the beauty of a blank slate... my heart starts to look toward Spring with it's fresh flowers and picnics in the park.  --- The same thing happens as Summer rolls around and I dream of warmer days and campfires at the beach. And then...you turn around, and you are looking forward to Fall and Winter again...

It's almost like there is Someone out there who knows just what we need...just when we need it.

When summer starts to feel hot and we crave cooler, crisper days, there is Fall, waiting with cozy, open arms -- and the cycle continues.

And while I may be just a teensy bit more thankful for Fall and Winter than all the other seasons...(wink, wink)...I am so thankful that the Lord knows just what I need - in so many ways, and how the changing seasons reflect that so beautifully. 🍂 He has a great plan and it's knit into every little thing.

______

If you want to join me on this gratitude journey, I would love to hear, each day, what you are thankful for! Let's gather up all the goodness in our lives and share it with each other this month!

Happy November, friends!

Love From,

to the mom of one

It can be a lonely thing to be a mom of just one child.

Not for the child -- the way that so many think.
Not for the mama at home -- you are rarely alone when you have just one as you are so often the playmate.

But amongst other mothers? Most definitely.

We live in a mom-focused society. It's never been more fashionable to have a baby on your hip, or a troupe of children walking down the street with you.
There are so many things geared and focused at moms & mom-life - and when you partake in them with "just one", so often you are looked at with the look of -- "oh...you just have...one?".

Hands up if you've heard "Don't you think he wants a brother or sister?" or "You are SO LUCKY to just have one! I don't know what I'd do with all that spare time if I only had ONE!".

It's as if you are the quiet sideshow, a "less-than", in a community of women raising many children. This person who only has to raise one child.

And of course nobody means any harm by saying these things - they never do. But the feelings still arise. Feelings of comparison, that we all struggle with as moms, are mixed in with feelings of inadequacy and feelings of guilt for not having, or maybe not wanting, more than one.

In reality, life as a mom to one is not that different from life as mom of many. Sure, our day-to-day activities are probably very different but - as far as motherhood goes -- We all worry, we all play... we all buy diapers and wipes and toys and clothes...We bandage skinned knees, we drive to soccer and ballet, we save for college...We are all moms.

So, to the mom of the only child:

You -and your child- are enough.

Your child is not spoiled. You are not "so lucky" to only have one. We are ALL lucky to have any children; whether one or five. You are...a mom. You have a child, just like all the other moms. You worry the same, you hurt the same, you play, you laugh, you care-for the same.... just like all moms.

You are a mom. And that is enough.
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Thoughts: Looking Back, Looking Forward

Hey there, friends! It's been a while here on this little blog, I know! Life moves and twists and little feel-good things that we do just for us, like a blog, get left behind -- and yet I don't have the heart to stop writing so, here I am. 

Last I left you, our son, aged 7, had just been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and we were...surviving, for sure, but knee deep in new information, at daily doctor visits and slightly overwhelmed with learning this whole new lifestyle -- and all the while, grieving a little bit for the chunk of childhood our son was losing.  

I think having a child with a health problem (big or small) is a whirlwind that can easily sweep up your free time, your spare thoughts and a fair chunk of your happiness at times. It feels as if this past year flew by me like a car speeding past in the next lane - one you don't even feel like you ever knew was behind you and then, bam!-- is out of sight. 

I can be thankful, though (so thankful, really!). Last year taught me, as cliche as it sounds, to just focus on the moment we were in, and that has been a gift. I learned not wonder or fear about the future - what Jake's life would be like as a 25 year old diabetic, or if his children will have the disease or --- (remember...breath!) or even to worry about the next day. Having such a huge amount of control taken out of my hands was, honestly, just what I needed. It reminded me of the things I've known for years, but have just let lay dormant in my mind -- truths like, God is in control. (Did you hear that? GOD is in control! Not us!). When something uncontrollable happens to your child (again, whether big or small) - the only option is to hand it over to the Lord because, guess what, mama? He can carry it! It's not too big, it's not too out-of-control, it's not too messy or scary or hard for Him. 

Nothing is.

This year,  I had to shift my focus in so many ways and that was a blessing. From this year of re-focus and letting go has come so many beautiful things -- richer friendships, a healthy child and even new music! (<-- check it out here!)

This year has been a beautiful reminder to just get out there and live! Write the songs, call your friend, try the new recipe, go on a date with your spouse -- just focus on what you can do today and let God carry the rest. (Think of Him as a wonderful friend in Highschool who will walk around beside you and carry all the books you don't need right at that moment! How nice would that have been??)

>>>

So friends, fast forward almost 1 year in our family (how has it been that long?!) and we are doing great. Our son is gaining independence daily and it is incredible to watch him manage his own health at such a young age. I don't know many 8 year olds who casually give themselves 4 needles a day! I could barely handle 1 booster every few years! His bravery is one of my favourite things in this world. It is an honour to be his mom.

I am happy to see this new year come and excited for what it will bring. And as for this little blog? I hope to keep it up as a place to be creative, to write about frivolous things like clothes and important things like faith and as a place to connect with you all! (But hey, it is January -- National "start-new-things-that-you'll-forget-by-March" month, soooo, you never know what the year will bring!).

For now, friends, I hope you all have a lovely start to January!

Love from,

Valerie

xo